It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
