she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize