Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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