It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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