Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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