Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.

(504): View more from Louisiana

Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER

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(616): View more from Michigan

sometimes you have to go after what you want

(313): View more from Michigan

true. and i really want to cum

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(786): View more from Florida

If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up

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(207): View more from Maine

In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.

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(416): View more from Toronto

In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”

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