When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize