Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
