please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
