sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
