....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
