Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize