i jhust puked up my retainher.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
