I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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