I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
