Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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