And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
