he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
