yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
