I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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