so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
