How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
