My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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