Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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