I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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