No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
