We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
