she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
