Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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