I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
