mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
