i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize