the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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