I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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