brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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