and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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