champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
