i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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