Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
