i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
