bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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