I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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