Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
