Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
