After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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