Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize