I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
