hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so let's talk penis.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
