just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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