It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
