I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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