Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
