How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
