When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
