Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just want to make out with him forever
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