i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
