Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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