At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
