She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize