I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize