Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
