she was so not down for the gang bang
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
