Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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