I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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