My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
