what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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