What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
