Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize