Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
