so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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