My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
