Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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